


Don't Remember

by AlexandriaFortescue, mothicalcreatures (laelreenia)



Category: X-Men (Comicverse), X-Men (Movieverse), X-Men - All Media Types, X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: Alex is spared the draft because technically he's in school, An Au where everything worked out just jim dandy after First Class, F/M, M/M, Memory Alteration, Pining, and Charles got the school up and running without incident, but Darwin lives, not really a fix it fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-02
Updated: 2015-07-02
Packaged: 2018-04-07 06:03:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4252155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlexandriaFortescue/pseuds/AlexandriaFortescue, https://archiveofourown.org/users/laelreenia/pseuds/mothicalcreatures
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Person B making a deal to save Person A's life at the cost of all their memories together.</p><p>Sean as Person B and Alex as Person A</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Remember

**Author's Note:**

> Want to shout out to my wonderful beta reader alexandriafortescue, for allowing me to harass her at odd hours because I'd hit a brick wall.

 

Early Summer 1968

It was supposed to have been a routine mission. It shouldn’t really even have been  _called_  a mission, Sean and Alex had just been headed to recruit another mutant. Sure they weren’t normally the one’s who did that, but the mutant had been located in Ireland, and Sean had jumped at the opportunity to visit his place of birth. It should have been routine. Nothing out of the ordinary. Talk to them and offer them a place at the school, that was it.  The first wrench had been thrown in the gears when the mutant turned out to be Sean’s cousin, Tom. You’d think that would have made it easier, but it had done the exact opposite. Tom had lashed out at Sean with his mutation, and Alex, the self sacrificing bastard, had pushed Sean out of the way and taken the hit instead. It wasn’t until Tom lashed out at Sean again that Sean realized that his cousin’s mutation didn’t affect him at all, and Alex had gotten injured for nothing. Sean didn’t even bother trying to retaliate,  if Tom’s mutation did nothing to him the chances were his mutation wasn’t going to do anything to Tom either. Alex was more important.

Sean dropped to his knees next to Alex where he lay on the ground, “Alex. Alex, come on. Stay with me.”

Alex groaned, his head was ringing from hitting the ground. Everything sounded distorted, and nothing Sean was saying made any sense.

“Look at me Alex, come on, focus on me,” Sean took Alex’s face in his hands, trying desperately to get Alex to register that he was there.

Alex sucked in a deep breath, giving a small cry when the action caused pain to blossom across his chest. He squeezed his eyes shut, willing himself to focus on the sound of Sean’s voice through the haze of pain and the ringing in his head. When Alex opened his eyes again, he blinked a few times before everything finally came into focus.

“Sean,” Alex breathed, his eyes flitting up until they locked with Sean’s.

Sean gave an audible sigh of relief, “Oh thank god.” He pulled back a hand to wipe at the tears trailing down his cheeks. “I hit the panic button Hank gave me, he’s on his way with the jet. You’ll be alright.”

“Are you alright?” Alex was starting to feel woozy again. He felt sleepy and tired, but if he was going to pass out, he wanted to make sure Sean was okay before he did so.

Sean shook his head, of course Alex would ask if Sean was okay after he was the one to get hit, “I’m fine, Alex. You’re the one who’s injured.”

“I saw you,” Alex said, gasping for breath before continuing, “I saw you get hit.”

Sean shook his head again, “It didn’t do anything. I wasn’t hurt by it.”

“Good,” Alex breathed out, “Good.” Blackness was starting to creep in around the edges of his vision, and though Alex was trying desperately to stay conscious, it was becoming harder and harder to keep his eyes open.

Sean’s heart lept to his throat, when he saw Alex’s eyes fluttering, “Alex no, no no no, stay with me, you need to stay awake okay.”

“‘m trying,” Alex slurred, “Trying…”

“Good, good, just keep trying Alex, please, I’m not going to lose you.” Sean was doing everything he could to keep himself from breaking down.  

Alex tried to saying something else, but the words caught in his throat and despite his best efforts he couldn’t get them out. ‘I love you,’ that was what he wanted to say, but he couldn’t and the darkness was closing in every faster. The last thing Alex saw, was Sean’s panic stricken, tear stained face crying ‘No!’, before everything went black.

“Alex oh god, please, wake up, wake up,” Sean pleaded. His hand flew to Alex’s throat searching desperately for a pulse, but his hands were shaking too badly to find one. He could still see a slight rise and fall of Alex’s chest, and he took comfort in that, but if Hank didn’t arrive soon Sean didn’t know if Alex would survive.

“He isn’t going to make it,” a voice said from behind Sean.

Sean whirled around, half expecting to see his cousin standing there, but it wasn’t. It was a short figure, wrapped in what appeared to be some sort of hooded cloak. Sean couldn’t see the figure very clearly, kind of like there was a mist obscuring the figure. Except there wasn’t mist. Sean squeezed his eyes shut, and the thought that he might be hallucinating flitted across his mind. When he opened his eyes, however, the figure was still there and much clearer than it had been.

“He isn’t going to make it,” the figure said again.

“You can’t know that,” Sean snapped.

“Oh but I can,” the figure replied, “I can feel his life energy leaving him. He won’t last until your friend arrives.”

Sean turned back to Alex, panic rising in his chest again, “He’s not- He can’t die.”

“But he already is. You knew he was too far gone the moment he lost conscious.”

“No,” Sean shook his head desperately, trying again to find a pulse on Alex, “No- he’s not- he’s not dead.”

“You won’t do yourself any good denying it.”

“Shut up!” Sean shouted, whirling around to face the figure again.

“Mind your voice, little banshee.”

Sean froze, “How do you know about that?”

“We’ve been watching you,” the figure replied.

“Who’s we?”

“The Sidhe, or Little People if that’s a term you’re more familiar with.”

“I know who the Sidhe are,” Sean said, “Why are you here?”

“I can bring him back to life,” the Sidhe replied, “But at a price. Do you accept?”

Sean was wary, but being presented with a chance to save Alex outweighed his worries about the trickery of the fae, “Will you tell me what the price is before I accept?”

“No, and if you ask again the deal is off.”

Sean took a deep breath to steady himself before responding, “Fine, I accept.”

A grin spread across the Sidhe’s face. It was rather disconcerting and Sean couldn’t quite tell whether the grin was meant to be devious or not.

“Very well,” the Sidhe spoke, “I will bring your lover back to life, but in return, I will take all the memories he has of the two of you together.”

Sean stared at the Sidhe in horror, he opened his mouth to speak, but all that came out was a sob like gasp.

“The memories will be replaced of course, with memories of similar shape and form, but with the two of you as nothing more than dear friends.”

Sean squeezed his eyes shut, taking deep breaths to try to calm himself. There was no going back, the deal had been made. Still, Sean couldn’t help but think that he would have made the same decision had he known the price. Four years of romantic memories was a relatively small price to pay for bringing someone back to life.

“That can’t be everything,” Sean said, opening his eyes again to look up at the Sidhe,  “There’s got to be a hidden catch, you’re Sidhe. There are rules, there are always rules.”

“You’re a smart little one aren’t you.”

“My nan was very superstitious, she made sure to teach me everything she knew.”

“Have you ever encountered an  _actual_  banshee?”

“You’re trying to distract me. Tell me the rules.”

“Very well,  my terms are as follows,” the Sidhe said, “You are not to hint at the memories I have taken from your lover. You are not to pursue a relationship with him.”

“What if he approaches me?” Sean asked, “What then?”

“If he approaches you to start your relationship anew you may have that, but under no circumstances can he know about this deal or everything is void and I will take his life.”

“How close can I get to telling him?”

“You cannot even hint that there might be anything wrong with his memories,” the Sidhe said.

“Give me an example of something that would cross that line,” Sean wanted to be sure that there was no possible way for him to fuck this up.

“Even saying, ‘I guess I remember it differently,’ would be saying too much.”

Sean opened his mouth to ask something else, but the Sidhe held up its hand.

“That is enough, I will answer no more questions.”

Sean took a shuddering breath, before nodding once.

The Sidhe smirked. “Good luck,” it said, before vanishing into thin air.

On the ground, Alex’s eyes shot open and he let out a gasp as his lungs started working again.

“Alex! Oh god, Alex, you’re okay!” Sean reached out to cup Alex’s cheek, before he remembered the deal and pulled his hand back.

“Sean?” Alex blinked, “I don’t- what happened?”

“The mutant we went to recruit, my cousin, he attacked us remember?”

“Yeah, I-” Alex tried to sit up, freezing when the motion sent pain searing through his chest.

“Shit, Alex don’t move, just try to lie still until Hank gets here, ‘kay?”

“I’ll be fine,” Alex replied wincing.

“I’m sure you will be, but you have… second degree burns on your chest, probably a concussion and god knows what else,” Sean glanced down at the burns on Alex’s chest, they’d been so much worse before that Sidhe had worked it’s magic.

Alex relented, lying back, mumbling something about how he wasn’t that incapacitated.

Thankfully, it wasn’t long after that, that Hank arrived with the jet to get them home.

Sean felt sick for the entire flight back, and he pointedly avoided Hank’s questions about what exactly had happened telling him he’d explain everything to him and Charles when they got back. Hank didn’t seem particularly satisfied with the answer, but he didn’t press, so Sean didn’t feel particularly bad about not saying anything just yet.

Once they arrived back at the mansion, Sean headed straight to Charles’ office instead of going with Hank and Alex to the infirmary like he would have under normal circumstances.  Sean had just made it up the stairs when he was accosted by Alex’s little brother, Scott.

“Where’s Alex? Charles said you guys just got back.”

“We did, Alex got hurt so he’s with Hank in the infirmary. He’s gonna be alright though,” Sean added, when saw a look of terror cross Scott’s face, “It’s nothing life threatening.” He could hardly blame Scott for being worried, he and Alex had only been reunited a few months ago, and Sean knew that both of them worried about getting separated again. Alex had told him as much.

“Why aren’t you with him?” Scott asked.

“Contrary to popular belief Alex and I aren’t attached at the hip,” Sean replied, “And I really have to report to Charles about what happened.”

“It was just a recruitment right?”

“Yes, but it was one that went about as wrong as it could go without someone dying,” Sean said, “Look, go see Alex, he can fill you in just as well as I can.”

Scott nodded before hurrying off to the infirmary, allowing Sean to continue on his way to Charles’ office.

Sean didn’t bother to knock when he reached Charles’ office, he just walked in. Sean wasn’t in a particular mood to care if Charles was busy with something else. He wasn’t, but he still didn’t look incredibly pleased that Sean had just barged in.

“Is there something I can help you with Sean?”

“We have a problem. Two problems if we’re being technical,” Sean said, “One is that Alex has lost about four years worth of memories specifically concerning the two of us and our relationship, and second is that the mutant you sent us to recruit was my cousin who apparently he hates me and he attacked Alex.”

Charles sighed, rubbing his forehead “Can we backtrack to the first problem of Alex’s lost memories. Do I need to restore them?  _Can_  I restore them?”

Sean shook his head, “No, you can’t. That’s the thing, and it kind of ties in with the second problem. When my cousin attacked Alex- Alex died. Alex died, and I made a deal with a Sidhe to save him.” He pushed the memories to the front of his mind so that Charles could see them.

“And the deal cost Alex’s memories of the two of you,” Charles said, as he sifted through the memories that Sean had projected to him. “I don’t suppose you know how his memories have changed.”

“Not exactly, I know that they’ve changed so that we’ve been nothing more that friends for the past four years, but my memories haven’t changed at all.”

“I can look for you, if you want,” Charles offered.

“No,” was Sean’s immediate answer, “We all know what it feels like when you’re in our heads, he’ll know something’s up and he can’t know that anything is wrong with his memories.”

Charles nodded, “And what do you intend on doing?”

“I don’t know,” Sean admitted, “Move on I suppose. It’s all I can do.”

“You should let Hank know as well,” Charles said, “And anyone else who knew you and Alex were together.”

“Just Hank then,” Sean replied, “None of the younger kids ever knew.”

Charles nodded, “Now what about your cousin.”

Sean sighed, “His name is Tom Cassidy. We got along well enough when we were younger, but something has clearly changed. What I’m not sure, but he reacted very violently towards me.”

“Towards you, not Alex.”

“No, not Alex. Alex jumped in front of me like an idiot,” Sean ran a hand through his hair, “Tom’s mutation didn’t seem to affect me. He lashed out at me again after Alex got hit, but nothing happened, I wasn’t even winded.”

“That is very interesting,” Charles said, “Do you have any idea why that might be?”

“Not a clue. I didn’t really stop to ponder why, I was more concerned with Alex.”

“Which is understandable. What about his mutation?”

“From what I saw, it seemed to be some sort of energy manipulation similar to Alex and Scott. I’m not sure how accurate that description is though. It’s kind of hard to observe a mutation when you’re trying to dodge it.”

“Fair enough,” Charles said, “Was there anything else out of the ordinary to report?”

Sean shook his head, “That’s pretty much it, but if I think of anything else I’ll let you know.”

“You should tell Hank as soon as you can,” Charles said, as Sean was turning to leave.

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” Sean muttered. He wanted to put off telling Hank, but this really wasn’t something that could wait.

Sean managed to catch Hank as he was coming out of the infirmary. As much as he wanted to see Alex, he didn’t really know how to be around him anymore, so entering the infirmary was out of the question.

“He asked for you, you know,” Hank said, as they headed along the hallway in the direction of Hank’s lab.

“Scott’s with him though right?” At least Sean hoped that Scott was still with Alex.

“He is, but that’s not the point,” Hank replied, “I hesitate to say you should have stayed, but…”

“You think I should have.”

“I do.”

Sean sighed, “It’s not that simple anymore.”

“What happened Sean?” Hank asked, “With Alex having sustained an injury like this I thought you’d be attached to his side.”

 _I normally would be_ , Sean thought, but he didn’t say it.

“Sean?”

Sean gave another extended sigh, “I don’t even know where to begin.” Talking to Charles had been so much easier because he could  _show_  Charles instead of actually having to articulate it.

“Why don’t you start with how Alex got hurt,” Hank suggested, pushing open the door to his lab so that they could go inside.  

“My cousin attacked me and Alex took the hit.”

“Your cousin?”

Sean grimaced, “He was the mutant we were sent to recruit, and apparently he hates my guts for reasons that I don’t know.”

“Okay, so how does this tie in to why you’re acting so off?”

Sean took a deep breath. “Alex died. The- His injuries were so much worse than what you saw. I- you could see his ribs.” Sean squeezed his eyes shut, trying to will the images out of his head.

It wasn’t working well, but Sean continued anyways, “A Sidhe approached me. Their kind of like fairies, but really not at all,” Sean added when he saw Hank looking confused, “All you really need to know is that they’re powerful and fall in the realm of mythology and old religions. Anyways, I made a deal to bring Alex back, but it cost him his memories of me. Of us.”

“Shit.”

“Yeah…” Sean squeezed his eyes shut again. He could feel tears pricking at the corners of his eyes and he let himself sink into the nearest chair, “And the worst part is I can’t say anything.”

Hank frowned, “Why not?”

“Because he’ll die if I do,” Sean said, wiping at his eyes, “Those were the conditions of the deal. Alex can’t know what we had and more than that he can’t know that there’s anything wrong with his memories.”

“So… what are we supposed to do? How have his memories changed or are they blank space?” Hank asked.

“As far as Alex knows we’ve spent the last four years as nothing more than friends.”

“That’s- that’s-” Hank was lost for words, “What are you going to do?”

Sean shrugged, “I don’t know, just move on with my life I guess. There’s nothing else to do.”

“What if Alex asks you out again? I mean, his memories may be gone, but I highly doubt his feelings are.”

“I’ll probably end up having to turn him down,” Sean said, getting to his feet, “I’m gonna go out, try to clear my head. Tell Alex I’ll see him when I get back.”

“Or you could see him before you go.”

Sean shook his head, “I don’t trust myself not to fall apart in front of him. I need to get my thoughts in order before I talk to him.”

Hank nodded, that did make sense, especially if, like Sean said, Alex’s life was on the line if Sean (or anyone really) slipped up. “Take care of yourself okay? Don’t stay out too long.”

Sean gave Hank a short nod, before turning and walking out of Hank’s lab.

Sean would have preferred being able to spend a few hours flying, but his wings were currently with Hank for repairs so a walk would have to do for now. He needed  _something_  to clear his head.  _Getting drunk would do that_ , his mind supplied. Sean snorted, that would probably not be a good idea, he wanted to clear his head, not black out. Though the idea of drinking til he passed out was a tempting one, he’d give himself a day to get his thoughts in order before he’d consider getting trashed as a solution. Sean wandered the grounds for a while, kicking at the gravel path and yanking leaves off various plants. The methodic stripping a branch of leaves, Sean found, was surprisingly relaxing.  Eventually he found himself out by the satellite dish that he’d taken his first flight from. Feeling emotionally and physically exhausted but not ready to go back inside, Sean opted to climb the dish and take a nap on the platform at the top.

He meant for it to only be short nap, no more than an hour, but when he woke up it was dark out and getting chilly.

“Fuck,” Sean swore, scrambling down from his perch and all but running back to the mansion. It was quiet when Sean slipped in the back entry, the grandfather clock in the parlor telling him it was well past nine when he passed by. He’d been asleep on the satellite for almost eight hours. Sean slunk up to his room as quietly as he could.

“You should eat,” a feminine voice said behind him just as he reached the landing of the second floor.

Sean jumped and whirled around, “Christ Jean you scared me.”

“Sorry,” Jean replied, “That wasn’t my intention. Why weren’t you at dinner.”

“I went out for a walk and lost track of time.”

“Uh huh, and you didn’t notice it getting dark?”

“I fell asleep,” Sean said, “I assume Hank spent the entire time worrying about me?”

“Alex too.”

“Is he out of the infirmary?”

Jean nodded, “He is, but I think Hank wishes he’d agreed to stay for longer.”

“That sounds like Hank. Do you know if Alex is still awake?”

“I’m not sure,” Jean said, “If I had to guess I’d say no. He looked pretty tired at dinner.”

“I’ll wait ‘til tomorrow then.” Sean was secretly rather glad that Alex was probably either already or well on his way to being asleep. It made him feel less guilty about just going to bed himself without going to see Alex. Which was what he’d planned to do in the first place.

Jean just nodded again, “Well, I’m heading to the TV room, Ororo found some old board games if you were interested in joining us.”

“Us being just you and Ororo or…”

“Warren’s joining us too, but Scott’s already called it a night.”

Sean sighed, he really doubted he’d be able to fall asleep after having just slept for eight hours. “Fine, I’ll join you. I think I’m probably too awake to sleep again so soon. What games did you find?”

“Not sure, Ororo just said she found some games at dinner. Charles said we were free to play any games we found provided we didn’t touch the chess set.”

That was how Sean found himself sprawled out behind the couch in the TV room, playing multiple rounds of Scrabble, Sorry! and Chutes and Ladders until two in the morning. Though Sean still found himself awake long after Ororo, Jean, and Warren had all headed off to bed.

In fact, Sean was still lying awake in bed, when Hank knocked on his door at seven saying there was a phone call for him from his mother. That had had Sean sitting bolt upright, the sudden searing worry that Tom had gone after his mother turned his stomach to knots and he bolted to the nearest phone.

He tried to keep calm as he picked up the phone, but when he spoke the worry was evident in his voice, “Mom? Is everything alright?”

There was a deep sigh on his mom’s end, “No, I have bad news.”

Sean relaxed,  _marginally_ , if his mother was the bearer of bad news that at least meant that she wasn’t hurt.

“Your uncle passed away last night.”

Sean’s breath caught in his throat, “What? That- Should I come home?”

“Stay in the States for now,” his mother said, “I-”

Sean could hear her crying, but he stayed quiet to let her finish speaking.  

“I have to go, but I’ll call again once I know more.”

“Yeah- yeah, okay. Are you sure you don’t want me to come home right away? Cause I can do that.”

“That’s alright, you’re needed at the school aren’t you? Tom and I can sort things out.”

That made Sean’s stomach drop, “Have you spoken to him?”

“No I haven’t been able to get ahold of him, but I left him a message, I’m sure he’ll get back to me.”

 _I hope he doesn’t_ , Sean thought grimly. He didn’t want Tom anywhere near his mother. “If you need anything though, let me know. No one will mind if I have to run home for a family emergency.”

“Of course, and I’ll let you know as soon as I know anything about funeral arrangements or anything else.”

“Thank you.”

The phone call wrapped up after that, and as he hung up the phone Sean felt like he was in a daze. Nothing seemed right, the past two days just felt completely unreal.

Sean stumbled back to his room and collapsed on the bed. He dragged a hand over his face, he wanted to sleep for twenty years. In the end he settled for just crawling under his covers and attempting to sleep the day away. That would work just as well, since he’d already fucked up his sleep schedule with the eight hour nap he’d taken the day before.

Sean didn’t manage to sleep all day however, because the rest of the people in the house hadn’t fucked up their internal clock like he had and around noon one of said people decided that knocking on Sean’s door was a good idea.

“What,” Sean called from his bed. There was no way in hell he was getting up to open his door.

The door creaked open and Alex stuck his head in, “Are you okay?”

Sean sat up when he saw Alex. “I think I’m supposed to be the one asking you that,” he replied yawning.

“Hank said you got a phone call this morning, and looked pretty upset afterwards.”

“Oh… when did he see me afterwards?”

“You must have been out of it. Hank said you walked right by him,” Alex said, sitting down on the end of Sean’s bed.

“I hadn’t slept,” Sean replied, rubbing at his forehead. He could feel a headache starting to grow behind his eyes.

“The whole thing with your cousin worrying you?”

“Yeah,” Sean was very grateful that Alex had given him an easy lie, “I’m worried he’ll go after my mom.” Well it wasn’t  _completely_  a lie, but those worries had mostly been abated by the phonecall.

Alex nodded, but didn’t say thing else.

“You know I’m with Hank in the whole you should still be resting.”

Alex chuckled, “I thought you knew me better than that.”

Sean gave Alex a smile that was far more forced than he would have liked. Being near Alex made his chest ache. He wanted to reach for Alex and pull him close and curl up next to him, but he  _couldn’t_.

“Was there a reason you came up?” Sean asked after a few moments of tense silence, “Other than to check on me, I mean.”

“Oh, uh, yeah, Ororo made lunch, if you want it,” Alex said getting to his feet.

Sean nodded, “I’ll be down in a bit, I want to shower first.” He realized with a grimace that he was still wearing the clothing from yesterday that had Alex’s blood all over it.

“You sure you’re alright?” Alex asked.

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine,” Sean said, entirely too quickly, “I’ll meet you downstairs.”

Alex was hesitant, but he eventually left, leaving Sean on his own again.

As soon as the door was shut behind Alex, Sean clambered out of bed to strip out of his clothing. The rusty brown stains on the pants and to a lesser extent on the shirt glared up at him from the floor. He gathered them up and shoved them into his trashcan, there was no way in hell he’d be able to wear those clothes again. How had it slipped his mind to change out of those clothes? Sean shook his head, grabbing a pair of sweatpants off the floor and tugging them on so he could go shower. He also grabbed a clean t-shirt before heading out of his room to the bathroom.

Sean ended up spending longer in the shower than he had originally intended. Partially because he washed himself three times in an effort to forget the feeling of Alex’s blood on his skin that had surged to the forefront of his memory when he had realized he was still wearing the bloodstained clothes, and partially because he didn’t know how he was supposed to face Alex again.

Sean did eventually haul himself out of the shower, drying off, and getting dressed. He padded down to the kitchen after that to see if Alex would still be waiting there. He wasn’t, but there was a sandwich sitting out on the table that Sean assumed had been meant for him. His stomach twisted and he suddenly didn’t feel very hungry anymore despite the fact that he hadn’t eaten since they’d gotten back from Ireland. He felt awful for intentionally avoiding Alex, but at the same time being around Alex hurt just as much. At least Alex would be at risk if Sean wasn’t around him.

Sean sighed and picked up the sandwich he stared at it blankly for several moments before taking a bite. His stomach gurgled in protest and he felt queasy. He set the sandwich back down and walked out of the kitchen, muttering something about wishing he was still asleep.

The next few days Sean was constantly on edge. Between waiting for his mother to call again and his anxiety about being around Alex he was just a mess. After Sean snapped at Hank over something rather trivial concerning his wings, Charles called Sean to his office to talk.

“What’s going on Sean?” Charles asked, “I have a feeling this is about more than just what happened with Alex.”

Sean sighed, dropping into one of chairs that sat opposite to Charles’ desk.

“Sean.”

“Can’t you just read my mind, no wait, you like to pretend you don’t already do that.”

“Sean you know I don’t do that.”

“I know what it feels like to have a telepath in my head, and I know you’ve been poking around,” Sean snapped.

“I’ve been worried about you,” Charles said, pointedly avoiding addressing Sean’s accusation.

Sean was on his feet again in a heartbeat, Charles’ roundabout answer was all that Sean had needed to confirm his suspicions. “That doesn’t mean you have the right to poke around in my head!”

“Sean-”

“No. Don’t you dare. I see now why Erik liked that fucking helmet so much. It was the only way he could ensure you’d stay out of his fucking head,” They were angry words, meant to hurt, but at the moment Sean didn’t really care. He didn’t stay to see Charles’ response, he simply turned and stalked out of Charles’ office, shutting the door behind him more forcefully than necessary.  

As he was walking back to his room the phone started ringing and Sean’s anger immediately drained away to be replaced with no small amount of worry and trepidation. He hurried to the nearest phone, that happened to be just down the hall, so he could answer it before anyone else had the chance to.

“Hello, this is the Xavier Institute,” Sean didn’t want to assume it was his mother, but he hoped it was.

“Sean?”

Sean breathed out in relief, it was his mom, “Hi mom. Has there been any news?”

“Sean I- I know you wanted to be back for your uncle’s funeral.”

Sean felt his stomach drop, “What happened?”

“Apparently his funeral has already occurred.”

“What?”

“Tom organized everything without telling anyone. I got a call from one of your uncle’s friends this morning. I guess none of them were told either. Tom just went ahead and did it immediately.”

Sean squeezed his eyes shut, he wasn’t going to cry. Not now, after he hung up the phone he could break down all he wanted, but not until  _after_. “I’m going to kill him.”

“That’s not everything.”

Sean bit the inside of his mouth, trying to squash down his anger at his cousin until his mother finished speaking.

“You’re uncle left you a sizeable inheritance,” Sean’s mother started, “In fact, if I’m reading this correctly, it would seem that he left you almost everything. You’re listed as heir to the estate.”

That made Sean do a double take, he’d been expecting his mother to tell him something else awful that his cousin had done, not that- not that Sean had been willed as his uncle’s heir. “Are you sure?” Sean asked, his voice tight.

“Your uncle’s lawyer came by yesterday to show me the will, since he didn’t know how to get ahold of you. I couldn’t believe it at first either, I had assumed that Tom would inherit, but he appears to have been written out entirely.”

“That could explain why he went behind everyone’s back,” Sean said, his anger seeping into his voice. It also would give a reason to why Tom had attacked him.

“I didn’t even think of that, but you could be right. I’m sorry love. I know you and your uncle were close.”

Sean gave a tight smile, even though his mother couldn’t see it. He could hear someone coming down the hall and he took a deep breath to try to hide his distress, “Thanks mom. I’ll try to come home soon okay.”

“Alright, take care of yourself.”

“You too.”

Sean sighed as he hung up the phone, “Did you need something Hank?”

“I wanted- how could you tell it was me?”

“Your footsteps,” Sean said, turning to face Hank, “They sound very different from everyone else's. Your gait is different too.”

Hank blinked, “That’s fascinating can you tell everyone apart?”

Sean’s lips quirked into a half grin, “Mostly yeah, but you’re the easiest. I’m assuming that wasn’t what you wanted to talk about though.”

“Oh yes, Charles wanted me to see if you were alright.”

That wiped the smile off Sean’s face, “You can tell Charles to fuck off and stay out of my head.”

Hank frowned, “He’s a telepath Sean.”

“He was intentionally poking around inside my head.  _Without my permission_. I have every right to be fucking furious.”

“Sean.”

Sean just shook his head, turning and starting to walk off, “I’m going to get drunk, just leave me be.”

Sean’s first stop was the liquor cabinet in the lounge. He had found the key, tucked into a loose panel on the side while they had been cleaning in preparation for starting the school several years back. If Charles knew Sean had knowledge of the key he had never said anything. Sean snorted, Charles probably knew much more than he was letting on. It made Sean feel queasy. He removed the key from its hiding place and unlocked the cabinet. There were a few bottles of brandy, one of which was mostly empty, and a bottle of whiskey. Sean took the whiskey, relocked the cabinet, and tucked the key back where he found it.

As Sean started making his way back towards his room, he wondered if the mansion had a wine cellar. He knew at the Keep he’d grown up in, ( _the Keep he’d just inherited_ , his brain supplied) there was quite the substantial wine cellar, so why shouldn’t there be one here. Sean wanted to drink until he passed out and one bottle of whiskey wasn’t going to do that, so instead of heading back to his room, he headed down to basement.

Sean had never really spent much time in the basement. The only time he really went down was to do laundry. When they’d been cleaning up the mansion Hank had been the one who had been in charge of the basement, while Sean and Alex had worked on the upstairs. Either way, Sean found it relatively easy to navigate. There were several storage rooms, the laundry room, a larder, and of course the bunkers, the regular bunker and then the one that held Cerebro. But there was also one room that was locked, and Sean figured if there was going to be alcohol anywhere, it would be behind the locked door.

The door to the locked room looked so sad that Sean was fairly certain it would crumble if a strong wind were to pass through. He tested his theory by kicking the door just above the door knob. Much to his pleasure the door swung open, and the door knob fell off to boot. Sean grinned, and made his way inside, fumbling around on the wall for a light switch. When he got the light’s on Sean’s assumptions were proved correct. The back wall was completely line with bottles, of various shapes and sizes. Either the Xavier’s had hosted a lot of parties back in the day or one of Charles’ parents was an alcoholic.

Sean grabbed two bottles at random, one was a wine with a name he couldn’t pronounce and the other was… vodka? Sean put that bottle back and grabbed another bottle that declared itself to be yet another wine with a name that he couldn’t pronounce, probably French. More satisfied with that collection Sean headed back up to his room. The house was oddly quiet for it being the mid afternoon, but Sean supposed that unlike himself the others were actually doing productive things, like training, or maybe they’d gone into town. Sean shouldered his way into his room, dropping the bottles onto his bed before turning back to shut the door.

Once the door was shut Sean wasted no time in cracking open the bottles. He felt pathetic, sitting alone in his room and drinking, but he really just wanted to do something stupid and forget everything that had happened over the past week. Getting drunk covered both of those things pretty damn well.

It wasn’t long before Sean was lost in a haze of alcohol. He felt warm and fuzzy and it would have been nice except he still felt just as upset as he had before. If not worse. Everything had happened all at once, the shit with his cousin, his uncle’s death, Alex. Everything was a mess and Sean just wanted to curl up into a ball and disappear. He supposed curling up and getting drunk was the next best thing.

Sean was halfway through the first bottle of wine, (he’d already finished the whiskey) when there was a knock on his door. Sean groaned, grabbing a pillow and tossing it in the direction of the door. He picked up the bottle of wine again; he didn’t remember setting it down, but he shrugged it off and took another drink.

“Sean I’m coming in.”

Oh, it was Hank. “Did you know there’s a wine cellar?” Sean slurred.

“I- was aware, I see you found it.”

“I wanna crawl in a hole and sleep for twenty years.”

“Sean give me the wine,” Hank said, leaning over the bed to try to take the half full bottle from Sean.

“No,” Sean whined, trying to jerk the bottle away. He was unsuccessful however, and all he managed to do was spill wine on Hank.

Hank set the bottle on the floor, sitting down on the bed next to Sean, “What’s going on Sean?”

Sean shook his head, he could feel a sob bubbling up in his chest and it hurt. “Everything’s wrong. My uncle’s dead, my cousin’s a dick, and I miss Alex,” Sean’s breath hitched and he started crying in earnest.

Hank didn’t know what he was supposed to do, comforting upset drunk friends was not his area of expertise. When Sean slumped forward onto Hank’s shoulder, Hank just let him cry, rubbing his back trying to help him calm down. Hank kept rubbing Sean’s back until Sean’s sniffles and sobs had finally stopped. It took Hank a minute to realize that the only reason Sean had stopped crying was because he’d fallen asleep.

Hank sighed. He wished that he could get Alex, if ever Sean needed Alex it was now, but Alex being around Sean while Sean was drunk would be a terrible idea and Hank knew it. After getting Sean in bed Hank picked up the bottles. He was relieved to find that one of the bottles was still full, though Hank would have felt better if it was the whiskey bottle that was full and not a wine bottle. He dropped the empty whiskey bottle into the trashcan, taking the two wine bottles with him as he left Sean’s room, though he would definitely be back to check on Sean again later.

After that night Sean started avoiding Alex, it wasn’t easy and it wasn’t something Sean particularly wanted to do, but it was a better alternative to feeling like he was going to throw up every time he spoke to Alex.

It went well for about a week, until Alex had had enough and went looking for Sean. Sean was sitting in his room staring at the ceiling when Alex knocked on his door. Sean was about to call out ‘What?’ but Alex spoke first, and Sean blanched. He wasn’t in any sort of mood to handle being around Alex. So, of course, he did what any reasonable person would do. He dove out his window.

Several minutes later, after pulling himself out of a bush, Sean slipped off to Hank’s lab. Which is where he was now, sitting on a table and letting Hank scold him as he patched him up.

“Sean I know for a fact that you did not crash land into a tree. And you want to know how I know?” Hank said, placing a bandage over a particularly nasty cut on Sean’s temple.

When Sean didn’t reply Hank continued, “I know, because I have your wings down here, because you tore them before you went on that recruiting mission with Alex. So how did you end up covered in cuts and bruises?”

“Idoveoutmywindow,” Sean mumbled.

“I’m sorry?”

“I dove out my window,” Sean repeated, a bit more clearly.

Hank groaned, “And what possessed you to do that?”

“Alex was looking for me?” Sean offered, as though he wasn’t sure that it was an acceptable answer.

Hank, in return, gave Sean a disappointed glare.

“I know, I’m sorry, I should have stayed and talked to him, I just- I panicked, ” Sean gave a drawn out sigh, “I don’t know how to act around him any more.”

“You acted well as friends in front of the students before,” Hank said.

“Yeah, I know that, but this is different,” Sean replied, “This is- Now I’m acting in front of Alex too, and it’s really fucking hard.”

“And there’s no possible way for you to let him know at all?”

Sean shook his head, “If he knows he dies. I told you that. And if I’m around him, I just know I’ll let something slip.”

“Which is why you said before if he approached you, you’d turn him down.” The first time Sean had explained everything to him, Hank had been too stunned for it to sink in properly, but now things were starting to click a little better. Though Hank still wasn’t sure he got it entirely, but it didn’t really seem like he needed to know every little detail.  

“Yeah…”

Sean was about to say something else, when Alex stuck his head in the door, “Hank have you seen- Oh, Sean I was looking for- What happened to you?”

“I had a bad landing,” Sean said dryly, “Apparently more than a patch job was required to fix my wings.”

“I told you, you should have waited for me to build you a new pair,” Hank muttered, not entirely happy about being forced into Sean’s lie.

“Flying clears my head,” Sean replied. That much at least, wasn’t a lie. Flying was, in fact, the best way Sean had found to get his head clear.  

“Alright, well if you two would be kind enough to converse somewhere other than my lab that would be much appreciated,” Hank said, looking pointedly at Sean.

Sean sighed, hopping off of the table he’d been perched on.

“Are you okay Sean?” Alex asked once they were out in the hallway.

Sean shrugged, “I’ve had a lot on my mind, family stuff.”

“Like what?” Alex asked, as the two of them started heading down the hall.

“Well the whole thing with my cousin for one,” Sean said.

Alex nodded, “Were you two close?”

Sean wrinkled his nose, “Not particularly, but our relationship was a far cry from wanting to hurt each other. I mean, I have no idea what would have warranted him lashing out like he did.”

“Have you talked to your mom or your uncle?” Alex asked, “Maybe they know something.”

Sean shook his head, “No one’s heard from him,” which wasn’t true, but Sean didn’t particularly feel like divulging the whole situation with his uncle to Alex. Instead he moved to change the subject. “Are you- How are you doing?”

“I’m alright, gonna have a nasty scar, but I’m alright,” Alex said.

Sean grimaced, “I’m glad you’re doing okay.”

“Hank said that I had a concussion too, but not a bad one.”

“That’s good.”

“Yeah. Hey, have you given Charles an answer about whether or not you’ll teach?”

Sean stopped walking, turning to face Alex, “Whether I’ll teach?”

“He asked us just before we left remember? Whether or not we wanted to teach, since we’re really too old to be students anymore.”

“Oh! Right,  _right_ ,” With everything that had happened on the mission, everything that had occurred  _prior_  had completely slipped his mind.

“You forgot, huh?” Alex said, grinning.

“Yeah, like I said, I’ve had a lot on my mind.”

“I told Charles I would, but I’ve got no idea what I could possibly teach.”

“You’ve got a few months to figure it out. I mean, most of the students are gone for the summer.”

“Most, but not all,” Alex said with a shrug.

There was an idea whirring in Sean’s mind as Alex continued speaking. What if he gave flying lessons? It was something he was good at, and it didn’t require a higher education to teach. It would also keep him away from Alex, though he tried to tell himself that the fact that it would keep him away from Alex was just a side effect, and not the main reason he was doing it.

Sean didn’t realize Alex had stopped speaking until Alex waved a hand in front of Sean’s face and he jumped.

“Did you hear anything I just said?” Alex asked.

“Ah, no, sorry. I was lost in my head. What were you saying?”

“I was saying maybe we could teach a class together.”

Sean frowned before he could stop himself.

“Not a good idea?” Alex said, looking more than a little crestfallen.

Sean shook his head quickly, trying to fix his slip up, “No, no nothing like that I was just trying to think what we could both teach. I mean, our mutations are  _really_  different, and we aren’t exactly qualified to teach regular school stuff.”

“True. Was there anything you were thinking of doing?” Alex asked.

“I don’t know, there were a few ideas I was tossing around just a second ago, when I kinda tuned out, but other that that, it hadn’t really crossed my mind. Like I said before, I’d completely forgotten about it until you mentioned it.”

“Fair enough,” Alex said, “I gotta go, Charles is calling, but let me know if you think of anything we might be able to teach together, yeah?”

Sean gave a small nod, not trusting himself to a verbal answer. It felt like less of a lie if he didn’t respond verbally. He watched as Alex turned and headed off in the direction of Charles office, sending a small mental thanks Charles’ way before going in search of Warren to see if flying lessons might be of interest to him.

“Flying lessons would be awesome,” Warren said, grinning, “What would it entail though, I mean, I’m already pretty good at flying.”

“I haven’t really had a chance to think it through yet,” Sean said, “And I’d have to talk to Charles before anything was set in stone, but I thought it might be a fun idea. I think there’s room for improvement for everyone involved, myself included.”

“Would anyone else be doing it, or would it just be the two of us?” Warren asked.

“I’m not sure,” Sean replied, “I know Ororo was talking about trying to lift herself with wind the other day, but I don’t know what came of that. I’ll talk to her, see if she’s interested. And then maybe when the school starts up again in the fall there will be other students with flight capabilities. I’ll have more information once I’ve cleared it with Charles.”

“Great, and I can talk to Ororo if you want me to,” Warren offered.

“Let’s wait until we know for sure whether I’m even allowed to do this,” Sean said, grinning. He was very glad that Warren was excited at the prospect of a flying class or flying lessons, but he really did need to talk to Charles before he did anything else.

“Sure thing,” Warren replied, “I was supposed to be doing something for Hank, so I should probably actually go do that,  but uh, let me know what the Professor says?”

“You’ll be the first to know,” Sean promised, before Warren hurried off.

It felt wrong, going behind Alex’s back the way he had, and even though Sean tried to brush it off as necessary it still made him feel sick to his stomach. Sean shoved his hands into his pocket and headed outside, if he couldn’t fly, maybe going for a walk would get his mind clear.

Going for a walk did nothing to clear his head. All Sean ended up doing was playing through various ways that interactions with Alex could go horribly, horribly wrong.

He was out by the satellite dish when Charles called for him, (he always seemed to end up out there) and Sean turned to double back towards the house, briefly wondering if his worried thoughts had been loud enough for Charles to hear from such a distance. He’d never been quite clear on just how extensive Charles’ ability was. There was also the worry that Charles had been snooping in his head again, but Sean didn’t want to think about that.

Sean went up to Charles’ office as soon as he got inside, and thankfully, he didn’t run into anyone else on his way up.  _Alex_ , his mind supplied, _you’re thankful you didn’t run into Alex_. Sean shook his head to clear away the thought, but there was still that nagging reminder that he was in fact actively trying to avoid Alex. He was still thinking about it as he pushed open the door of the office.

“Was there something you needed Professor?” Sean asked, once the door was shut behind him.

“I wanted to talk to you about teaching,” Charles said, “Alex brought it up when we were talking. He said he’d spoken to you about it, and the idea of the two of you teaching a class together was tossed around. Given the circumstances are you sure that’s a wise idea?”

Sean grimaced, “He did mention that, and to be honest the whole thing had slipped my mind so it was kind of a one sided conversation. I didn’t really give him a proper answer about teaching together. I’d actually rather not, though I wouldn’t be opposed to teaching something, just not with Alex.”

Charles nodded in understanding, “Was there anything you were thinking of?”

“Well, flying lessons, were one thing that popped to mind, though that certainly wouldn’t be a class that all students could take. But it is something I have the know how to teach. Kind of.”

“That certainly seems like a good idea,” Charles mused, “Who, besides Warren, would you be teaching?”

“Ororo seems to have figured out a way to get herself airborne,” Sean began, “But I’m not sure about any others.”

“You might want to talk to Miss. Grey as well, we’ve been doing some exercises with her telekinesis that she may be able to utilize for flight. Other than that we will have to wait and see what students return for the next semester,” Charles paused for a moment before continuing, “It might be a good idea to train Warren or one of the girls, as an assistant for when the semester starts. It would be a good idea to have someone who can catch a student if they fall.”

Sean nodded, “Would it be alright if I started it now?”

“Now?” Charles repeated.

“It would give me something to do,” Sean said with a shrug, “It would give  _all of us_  something to do, and I could get into a pattern for the semester. I could do it once a week or something, I don’t know. I’m bored out of my mind, and I’m sure I’m not the only one.”

“And how much of this is about avoiding Alex?”

Sean glared at Charles, “If you’re reading my mind again-”

Charles sighed, “I’m not Sean I promise. It’s just- it’s rather obvious that you’re avoiding him.”

Sean deflated, letting out a long sigh “Is it really?”

“It is.”

“I’m not gonna lie, it kind of is, but that wasn’t the original thought behind it.”

Charles nodded, “Alright, I suppose it would be alright to start lessons now, and then we can fit it in with regular classes come the start of the semester.”

“I’ll uh, I’ll let you know how it goes,” Sean said, turning and walking out of the room. Conversations with Charles  were almost as bad as conversations with Alex now, and Sean wondered if maybe it would be better if he just left the school and went home.

Day one of flying lessons Sean led Ororo, Warren, and Jean out to the satellite dish at the far edge of the property.

“Please tell me we’re not going to be jumping off that,” Jean said, staring up at the structure.

“Yup,” Sean replied grinning.

“Shouldn’t we be starting on something a little closer to the ground?” Ororo asked.

“Oh you will be don’t worry,” Sean said, “You’ve gotta get yourselves up there before you jump off. I’m not mean enough to have you start by pushing you off.”

“Pushing us off?” Jean said, staring at Sean incredulously, “Why would that even cross your mind?”

“Cause that’s how I learned to fly. Got pushed off the satellite dish by a psychopath.”

Warren started cackling, “That is so great, how did that happen.”

“It was training actually,” Sean replied. It felt strange telling the story, even though it had been six years, there hadn’t really ever been a circumstance that required telling stories about the events of that summer.

Ororo raised an eyebrow, “Training? You say a psychopath pushes you off a satellite dish and then call it training?”

“I was training here, and going out of the window didn’t work, so they decided to try sending me off the satellite dish.”

“They being Charles and… Hank?” Jean asked.

Sean nodded.

“And what were they gonna do if you couldn’t fly?”

“They had someone there to catch me,” Sean said, leaving the third person nameless and vague. The last thing he wanted to do was mention Magneto by name. “But enough about me, I’ll meet you at the top of the satellite dish.”

“You’re going to be flying up too right?” Warren asked.

Sean shook his head, “I can’t take off from the ground, I need to jump off something to get any lift.”

Warren was the first to take off, flying up to the top of the satellite dish with a grace and ease that made it clear this was no difficult task for him. It was a little more difficult for Ororo and Jean. In fact Jean only made it half way up before she lost control and dropped. Thankfully Warren was fast enough to catch her and she didn’t hit the ground.

“I thought for sure I had it,” Jean pouted.

“You did have it,” Warren said, “You just lost it for a bit. You’ve got to focus a lot more than some of us.”

“I guess,” Jean said with a shrug.

“You’ll get the hang of it Jean,” Sean said, gliding to down to join Warren and Jean at the foot of the satellite.

Jean nodded, “So time to try again?”

Sean grinned, “Definitely. Warren, I want you to go up and spot Ororo when she goes off the dish, I’m gonna spot Jean from the ground.” He turned to Jean, “It’s probably safer if you stay low to the ground today.”

What Sean had initially thought would be once a week lessons turned into more two to three times a week, as the younger students, especially Jean, were very eager to fly and learn maneuvers. Jean was still slower than Ororo and Warren but she was getting much better, and it made Sean incredibly proud to see. If it was any of them that asked for lessons multiple times a week it was Jean, though sometimes Ororo and Warren would as well.

On one such day Alex was sitting out in the back garden after a particularly exhausting training session in the bunker, watching as Sean swooped through the air followed by Warren, Jean, and Ororo. From where he was it kind of looked like they were playing tag.

“You watch him a lot,” Scott said, dropping onto the bench next to Alex.

Alex jumped when he heard Scott’s voice, “Don’t sneak up on me like that, you scared me.”

“I wasn’t sneaking,” Scott replied, “You were just too caught up watching Sean to notice me.”

“I wasn’t watching Sean,” Alex grumbled, “I was watching all of them. Have you ever flown with any of them?”

Scott shook his head, “I’m too heavy for Jean, and Warren’s terrified he’ll drop me. You’ve flown with Sean right?”

“Is there a reason you keep bringing up Sean?” Alex asked.

“Is there a reason you keep dodging talking about him?” Scott quipped back.

Alex sighed, turning away from Scott to look back at where Sean and the others were still flying circles in the sky.

“You like him, don’t you,” Scott said, “You’ve got a crush on Sean.”

Alex whipped around, glaring at Scott.

Scott stared at Alex for a moment before getting up, and heading out onto the lawn where the once airborne mutants had since landed.

Alex groaned, burying his face in his hands. At least this meant Scott didn’t care that Alex liked guys. Which was definitely a plus, but it also meant that Alex wasn’t nearly as subtle as he’d thought he was being. Maybe Hank could help him, Alex mused, he was smart, and Sean seemed to have been confiding in him as of late. So maybe Hank could help him figure out, A, why Sean was avoiding him like the plague and B how he should go about approaching Sean about this.

With that thought, Alex got to his feet, and headed off in search of Hank.  

Hank remembered the first time Alex had come to ask him if Sean was into guys (why Alex had thought he would know was beyond him). All the nervous hand gestures and skirting around the actual subject. Alex had used practically every euphemism for homosexual under the sun before Hank had figured out what exactly it was that Alex was asking. This time, unlike the last, Hank did know the answer to what Alex was asking, (it helped that Alex was more clear in his questioning this time round as well) though whether or not he should give him that answer was the real question. In the end he settled on giving Alex the same answer he had the first time, “I don’t know. You should go ask Sean.”

“And how am I supposed to do that?” Alex asked, “He avoids me at every turn. I haven’t been in a room with him for more than a few minutes in  _over a month_.”

“I don’t know Alex,” Hank said again, “I wish I could help you, but my track record with conversations that personal is not that great.”

Alex sighed, “You are literally the only person here who has had anything close to a normal relationship. Help me out man.”

“Do you not remember how my relationship with Raven ended?”

“I know it went better than whatever the hell was up with Charles and Erik.”

Hank sighed, Alex did have a point there.

“You could ask your brother, aren’t he and Jean a thing?”

“Are you fucking serious? They’re kids Hank. That doesn’t count. And besides, asking Sean out is only half the problem. I mean I don’t want to ask him until I know for sure he swings that way.”

“Alex, I am actually quite busy,” Hank began. He was not equipped in the slightest for this kind of conversation, and the sooner he could shoo Alex out of his lab the better.

“Yeah, yeah, I get it,” Alex muttered, turning to leave, “I’ll get out of your hair- er- fur. Later bozo.”

Hank snorted, but didn’t say anything. He just turned back to his work and silently hoped that everything worked out well for Alex. Sean had explained to him why Alex couldn’t know, but Hank still found the whole thing very confusing. Aliens and mutants made much more sense to him than mythical creatures did

It was a solid week before Alex was able to corner Sean long enough to have a proper conversation with him. “I know you keep saying you aren’t avoiding me intentionally, but it really feels like you are.”

“I’m not I’m really not,” Sean said, and it felt like less of a lie this time, since he had actually been doing things to keep him busy, and it wasn’t  _just_  avoiding Alex.

“So how are those flying lessons going?” Alex asked, “I was watching you the other day.” As soon as it came out of his mouth Alex winced, that had sounded so much better in his head.

“They’re going pretty well, Jean’s been clamouring to have them be more often, but I’ve told her that we’ll have to wait until school starts in the fall.”

“You think there’ll be more students that can fly?”

“I don’t really know,” Sean said, “I mean it’s really only a few more students that are coming back. Most parents are more than happy if their kids can stay here year round. I mean that’s why Warren’s still here.”

“Yeah, I- I um, there’s something I need to ask you.”

Sean felt a pit growing in his stomach. He was really hoping this wasn’t what he thought it was.

“I was- I was wondering if-” Alex grimaced, “Fuck I don’t know how to do this.”

“Just saying it might be easiest,” Sean said, trying not to give away how awful and distressed he felt. It hurt, seeing Alex standing there trying not to appear nervous and knowing that he had to turn him down.

Alex took a deep breath, “I like you, in a- in a more than friend way. Like a dating kind of way.”

Sean was silent for a moment before answering with what was probably the most rehearsed lie he’d ever told, “I’m- flattered, really, but I- uh, I don’t swing that way.”

Alex looked like someone had punched him in the gut, “Shit I’m- I’m so sorry Sean I- I’m so sorry.”

Sean shook his head, “It’s fine Alex, really, I’m not- I’m not mad.” Upset and emotionally distressed, yes. Mad, no.

Alex did relax at that, “So you’re not- you don’t care that I’m-”

“Not in the slightest,” Sean said.

“And you’re not creeped out by the fact that I- that I like you?”

“No,” Sean replied, shaking his head again.

Alex just nodded in response, biting at his lip, “I uh, I guess I’ll let you get back to whatever you were doing.”

Sean gave Alex a small smile, though it didn’t really reach his eyes and probably came across as more of a grimace, as Alex turned and left the room. After Alex was gone Sean left the room as well, though through a different door, and as soon as he was back in his bedroom he collapsed on his bed in tears.

The next few weeks were miserable, Sean continued avoiding Alex, but now Alex was avoiding him too. Several times they made eye contact in the hall and then had made beelines away from each other. Alex stopped watching Sean’s flying lessons, and had taken to holing himself up in the library, scouring books for ideas of things to teach. He still had no idea of what he would be good at teaching. Eventually he gave up, for the time being anyways, there was still time before school started up again for him to figure it out. He really had been hoping that he and Sean could teach something together, but now… well now that was out of the question. Alex couldn’t even look Sean in the eye anymore. He felt miserable.

Sean was feeling equally miserable, but he kept giving Warren, Jean, and Ororo lessons because if he stopped doing things he knew he’d probably end up alone in his room again, drunk and sobbing, which was not something Sean wanted to do again. So he tried to forget about the awful, gut wrenching conversation with Alex and continue things as normally as he could. Flying was a good way to do that, and teaching a class mid air made ignoring his problems all the easier.

As all that was going on Scott was finding himself more bored than usual. Normally he spent time with Hank or Alex while his friends were flying, but Hank and Alex had been spending more time together, (today they were testing out a new suit for Alex) and that left Scott with no one to talk to or do anything with. Honestly his inability to fly like his friends was upsetting at times. This was how Scott found himself wandering outside, pacing circles around the mansion and  kind of half watching his friends fly whenever they came into view.

It was during one of his circles of the mansion that Scott noticed someone walking up the drive. He paused, squinting at the person approaching. It was hard to make out details from this distance and the pervading red of his shades, but it didn’t look like any of the students Scott knew had gone home for the summer. As the figure continued approaching, details became easier to see and Scott could now see with certainty he’d never seen the man before. He was dark skinned, darker than Ororo, and tall, and… barefoot? Scott hesitated, almost turning around to run inside for the Professor or Hank but the guy looked up and saw him. He grinned and picked up his pace.

“Hey,” the guy said as he reached Scott, “Glad someone was outside as I came up, I was worried no one was here. The sign out front’s fallen down.”

“Oh, yeah Hank’s been meaning to fix that,” Scott said, rubbing at the back of his neck. “Um, who are you?”

“Oh sorry,” the guy said, holding out his hand to shake, “I’m Darwin.”

“Scott Summers.”

“You’re Alex’s little brother?”

“Yeah… wait how do you know Alex?”

“I’m an old friend of his, though I should probably talk to Charles before anyone else,” Darwin said.

Scott nodded, he still wasn’t entirely sure he trusted this guy, but if he was Alex’s friend he supposed the guy was alright. “Follow me, I’ll show you his office.”

Alex was lying on his back in the bunker which was in flames, again, while Hank was doing his best to douse the flames.

“I think this thing needs more fine tuning,” Alex said, “I mean I could be wrong, but I don’t think it was supposed to explode like that.”

“It wasn’t,” Hank muttered, “Now could you please grab a fire extinguisher and help me?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Alex said, pushing himself up off the ground.

_Alex could you come upstairs?_

Alex sighed, “Hank, Charles is calling are you sure you need my help?”

“I am very sure Alex, tell him to wait and help me put this out.”

Sean deemed the lesson over when Ororo made it pour on Warren because of something he’d said about Jean. He left them with instructions to Warren to apologize to Jean and to Ororo to not create storm like conditions while they were in the air, because they weren’t ready for that quite yet, though Sean didn’t discount the idea entirely. The situation settled, Sean headed back inside. He felt exhausted which was nice, because that meant he could just crawl up to his room and pass out without having to think about anything.

His way up to his room was interrupted however when he tripped going up the stairs. “I give up,” Sean muttered, rolling onto his back and rubbing his now bruised nose, “It’s too much effort to get up again, I’m just going to sleep here.”

“You know that’s probably not a good idea.”

Sean sat bolt upright, whirling around to see the speaker, “Darwin? Shit is that- Are you-” he scrambled to his feet.

“It’s nice to see you too Sean.”

Sean was up the stairs in the matter of seconds, before throwing his arms around Darwin, “Fuck man, how did- We thought you  _died_.”

“I guess I kind of did,” Darwin said, once Sean had pulled back from the hug, “I mean I adapted, but for awhile I just didn’t exist.

Sean shook his head, “That’s crazy. Thank god for your mutation.”

“Yeah. Hey, do you know where Alex is?”

“No idea, sorry. I haven’t seen him, I’ve been outside all day.” Though in truth it had actually been a few days since he’d last seen Alex, they’d gotten very good at avoiding each other.

“Outside doing what?” Darwin asked. “Oh man, don’t tell me you fly with those things?” he gestured to the wings Sean was wearing.

“I do,” Sean said, grinning, “It’s really great, flying’s the best.”

“I can only imagine,” Darwin replied, “You’re gonna have to show me sometime.”

“Definitely. If you’re up for it I could take you for a spin. I mean, not today, not sure I could stay up on my own much less carrying someone. I’m wiped out.”

“You do look dead on your feet.”

Sean nodded, “I sure feel that way.”

“Is that normal for having spent the whole day flying?” Darwin asked.

“Sometimes, haven’t been sleeping well so that’s probably got something to do with it too.” Sean had been having nightmares for the past few weeks, most of which revolved around Alex in some shape or form.

“You should go take a nap then,” Darwin said, “I’ll see you later. At dinner, alright.”

Sean gave a small laugh, “If I don’t sleep through dinner, yeah, I’ll see you then.”

Darwin and Sean parted ways after that. Sean making a beeline to his bedroom so he could pass out, and Darwin heading off to look for Alex. Charles had told Darwin that Hank and Alex had been testing a new suit for Alex and that they would likely be in Hank’s lab or the bunker. Darwin had decided he was going to check out Hank’s lab first, from the directions Charles had given him it seemed like the lab would be closer.

When Darwin located the lab he paused in front of the door. For as much as he wanted to see Alex, let Alex know that he was alive, Darwin still felt an overwhelming sense of anxiety at the thought of seeing Alex again. Eventually he gathered himself enough to knock at the door. There was a muffled shout of something that sounded like ‘Come in’ so Darwin pushed the door open. He was not expecting to see a furry blue person puttering about the about the lab.

“Hank? Is that you?”

There was a loud shattering sound as Hank dropped the try of test tubes he’d been holding, his eyes snapping to the door. He stood there mouth agape.

“I’m going to take the look on your face as a yes,” Darwin said, sliding into the room and shutting the door behind him.

Hank stared at Darwin for several more moments before speaking, “I’m fairly certain the chemicals I’ve been working with are non hallucinogenic.”

“Well I’m fairly certain I’m not a hallucination,” Darwin said, “Charles, Sean, and Alex’s little brother can back me up on that one.”

Hank nodded, swallowing visibly, “When I figure out how to form articulate sentences again we’re going to have a proper talk.”

Darwin grinned, “Sounds good to me, should I get out of your hair then. Don’t want to interrupt what you’re working on.”

Hank shook his head, “Darwin you are probably the most welcome interruption in the world. But the combination of you returning from the dead and the fact that I haven’t slept in thirty six hours has shorted my brain.”

“Does no one sleep here?” Darwin asked, “Cause Sean was about to fall asleep on his feet when I ran into him.”

“Things have been, strained, here as of late,” Hank said, “High levels of stress can lead to restless sleep.”

Darwin frowned, but he nodded all the same. There was something going on. Something that everyone seemed to be skirting around actually talking about. Sean’s vague talk of not sleeping well, and now Hank’s acknowledgement of a stressor in the house.

“I’m guessing you came down here looking for Alex,” Hank said, after a few moments of neither of them speaking.

“Yeah, Charles said you and Alex were doing testing on a new suit for him?”

“Ah yes, that,” Hank said, “Not a project I should have been working on when I hadn’t slept. Alex is probably in his room.”

Darwin nodded his thanks, “I’m still gonna hold you to that longer conversation once you’ve slept.”

That got a grin out of Hank, “Sure thing.”

Alex was lying on his bed in a t-shirt and boxers still damp from the shower. The bunker was still kind of a mess, but he’d gotten the fire out and he’d cleaned up what he could. However, due to the fact that his suit had, quite literally blown up in his face, there was nothing to do, and if he was being honest with himself, the idea of wandering the mansion in search of something to do made him anxious. Mostly because it was accompanied by the worry of running into Sean. It didn’t really matter that Sean had said he was okay with what had happened, because he sure wasn’t acting like it. Alex couldn’t really blame him for it either.

When someone knocked on his door, Alex groaned. He didn’t really want to deal with anyone right now, despite how bored he was. The knocking persisted however, and Alex finally called out, “If you’re Hank I’ve cleaned up as much as I could. If you’re Scott, I’m sorry but I’m not in the mood to be around anyone right now.”

The door pushed open and Alex sighed letting his eyes drop closed. Hank then, Scott would actually have left him alone.

“What happens if it’s not either of them?”

Alex’s eyes shot open and he scrambled to sit up. Darwin. No, there was no way. He was hallucinating, that was the only explanation.

“I’m not a hallucination Alex, I promise.”

Shit had he said that out loud? “You died,” Alex croaked, “I saw you... I- I  _killed_  you.”

Darwin’s face fell, and he moved over to join Alex on the bed, “You didn’t kill me Alex, what happened to me was not your fault.”

Alex tried to smile, “They kept telling me that. I didn’t- I couldn’t let myself believe them.”

“Well now I’m the one saying it wasn’t your fault, alright?”

Alex squeezed his eyes shut. “Alright,” he croaked. Tears were welling in his eyes, and he felt like he was going to break down sobbing at any moment. He only barely managed to hold himself together when Darwin reach out and placed a hand on his shoulder.

The both of them were silent for several minutes before Alex spoke again.

“I’m sorry I’m such a mess,” Alex said, wiping roughly at his eyes, “I’ve been having a rough time lately and then you come back and… not that it’s a bad thing it’s just-”

“Overwhelming?” Darwin offered.

“Yeah, in a good way though.” Alex sighed, “These past few weeks have just been a mess.”

“Yeah, everyone seems on edge. I ran into Sean on my way to look for you and he looked about ready to drop and Hank didn’t seem much better.”

“Hank get’s absorbed in his work and forgets to sleep,” Alex said, “I don’t really know what’s going on with Sean. Well that’s not entirely true, but… Can I trust you?”

“You know you can.”

Alex took a deep breath, “I fucked up, I mean I really fucked up.”

“What happened?”

“I- I asked Sean out,” Alex said, grimacing, “I don’t know why I thought it was a good idea. I should have realized that being okay with others being queer doesn’t mean that he’s queer.”

Darwin frowned, he’d been under the impression that Sean was queer. Maybe he wasn’t remembering things right. It had been several years after all. “Have things been awkward?”

Alex snorted, “That’s putting it mildly. I haven’t spoken to him since. We’ve been avoiding each other. Though he was avoiding me before. He denied it when I asked him, but I know he was.”

“I’m assuming you haven’t been able to talk to him about it.”

Alex shook his head, “I’ve tried, believe me, but he’s good at dodging and changing the subject and Hank won’t tell me what’s going on with him either. Every time I ask he tells me to go ask Sean and the cycle starts all over again. Though I mean now that we aren’t talking anymore…” Alex sighed, burying his face in his hands, “I can’t help but think it’s my fault.”

“I doubt that,” Darwin said, “If he was avoiding you beforehand he’s probably got something else going on.”

“He hasn’t be avoiding anyone else though.” Alex let out an aggravated huff, “This all started after that stupid mission to Ireland.”

“What happened?”

“We were going to recruit a mutant, but the mutant turn out to be Sean’s cousin. He attacked us, and I got hurt, not that badly but still,” Alex sighed again, “He started avoiding me as soon as we were back.”

“Maybe something happened that you don’t remember,” Darwin said, “I mean getting injured can fuck with your head sometimes. I know I had trouble sorting out memories after I reformed.”

Alex shook his head, “Charles scanned my head to check because of my concussion, but he said nothing seemed out of place. He said everything lined up with Sean’s memories.”

Darwin nodded, “Maybe the best thing to do would be to give Sean some time and then try again.”

“Yeah, I guess,” Alex took a deep breath, trying to get himself to relax. Dwelling on his issues with Sean wasn’t something he wanted to do. He finally lifted his head to look at Darwin, “You want a tour of the house?”

Darwin grinned, “That would be awesome. This place is like a maze.”

Alex chuckled, “Oh yeah. It was a nightmare to get used to.”

Sean ended up sleeping through dinner. Again. It was another one of those unintentionally intentional things he found himself doing to avoid Alex. This time, unlike the other times, Sean hadn’t actually meant to sleep through it. He had warned Darwin of the possibility of him sleeping through dinner, but Sean had still wanted the chance to talk to him again. Though provided Darwin wasn’t planning on going anywhere, and Sean assumed he wasn’t, he’d have the plenty of chances to talk to him again.

Sean lazed around in bed for a while longer, before he dragged himself out of bed. He was too hungry to keep lying around. He’d made the decision to skip lunch in favor of spending more time flying, which in hindsight had been a terrible idea, but well, Sean had been doing plenty of stupid things in the name of avoiding Alex as of late.

Sean threw on some clean clothes before heading down to the kitchen, he briefly considered showering as well, but ultimately decided that food came first. The mansion was quiet as Sean walked down to the kitchen, and he wondered what everyone was doing. Hank was probably in his lab, Charles was likely in his office doing who knows what. Darwin he assumed was with Alex and the younger kids he imagine were either playing board games or amusing themselves in other ways. He was startled out of his thoughts by a hand tapping his shoulder and he whirled around to see who it was.

“Jesus Darwin, you scared me.”

“Sorry about that, lost in your head?”

Sean nodded, “Yeah, wondering what everyone was doing. What did I miss for dinner?”

“Not much, whatever was supposed to be dinner got burned to a crisp so Charles just ordered pizza.”

“The pizza place must either hate us or love us, because on one hand it’s a really long drive but on the other hand Charles tips really well.”

Darwin laughed, “At least they’re willing to deliver this far out.”

“Very true, it would be a sad day if we had to go into town every time we wanted pizza.”

Darwin nodded, “Hey, so I’ve got a kind of serious question for you, can we talk somewhere private.”

“Yeah sure, not that you can have a truly private conversation here. What with Charles listening to everything.” To say Sean was still bitter about Charles invading his mind was putting it lightly.

“He wouldn’t do that would he?” Darwin asked. When he’d first met Charles and Erik one of the first things Charles had told him, after introductions, had been that he didn’t read people without permission.

Sean snorted, “I have personal experience that says otherwise, but that’s beside the point, I’m headed to get food so we can talk in the kitchen or wait til we can go back to my room.”

“I’m cool with talking while we walk.”

“Alright. Sound good, what did you want to ask?” Sean asked as they started heading down to the kitchen again.

“You told Alex you didn’t swing that way. Why?”

Sean was taken aback, that had  _not_  been the question he had been expecting at all, and it made him stop dead in his tracks. He’d guessed that the question might be something about Alex, yes, but not that. Sean sighed, he knew how he had to answer, but that didn’t mean he had to like it, “That’s because I don’t.”

“Come on Cassidy, I heard you moaning to Raven about how attractive Alex was when we first met.”

“Look, just because I can acknowledge Alex is attractive doesn’t mean I want to fuck him,” Sean cringed internally, that had come out harsher than he’d intended.

“Sean, man if you have a problem-”

“No, that’s not it,” Sean interrupted, “I’m fine with queers, it’s just I’m not one of them.”

Darwin sighed, “Alright, guess I misread you then, my apologies.”

“It’s fine,” Sean said, “Mistakes happen.”

Darwin let out a slow breath, “Glad it’s not gonna be a problem.”

Sean shrugged, “The way I see it is it’s just like being a mutant. Just the way a person is.”

“And society blindly hates us for it.”

Sean snorted, “That too. Was that all you wanted to ask me or was there other stuff too?”

“I dunno, there’s stuff I want to ask you, but at the same time it’s stuff that would be better if Alex asked you.”

“You want to know why I’ve been avoiding him.”

“ _Alex_  wants to know why you’ve been avoiding him.”

Sean sighed, “I- I- I can’t tell him.”

“Bullshit.”

“It’s not that simple Darwin,” Sean said, “It’s less I  _can’t_  tell him and more I’m not  _allowed_  to tell him.”

“That doesn’t make any sense.”

“Look I don’t know a better way to explain it.”

“Alright, alright,” Darwin said, “I won’t press, obviously you’ve got something going on that you can’t or don’t want to drag other people into and I’ll respect that, just- talk to Alex alright?”

“I’ll try,” Sean said, “That’s the best I can offer.”

Darwin nodded, “Good. Now I’m gonna head to bed cause I walked here and I’m wiped, so I’ll leave you to getting your food.”

Sean nodded, “I’ll see you tomorrow then, sorry I missed dinner.” He was probably going to head back to his room as well. The conversation had pretty much killed his appetite.

After that Sean and Darwin parted ways, both of them heading back to their respective rooms. Sean wasn’t exactly all that tired, but he curled up in bed and tried to go back to sleep anyways. After that endeavor failed Sean went to shower. Once he’d showered he tried, again, to fall asleep. However, he was met with the same amount of success as his first attempt, so he decided to see if Hank was still awake. It had been awhile since he’d last vented to Hank.

“Did something happen between you and Alex?” Hank asked as Sean walked into his lab, “You’ve been avoiding each other more equally now.”

“How rude, not even a hello. Hi Sean do you need something? Not really I just couldn’t sleep cause I’m an idiot who can’t keep a normal sleep schedule. Thanks for asking though. What are you up to? And aren’t you pushing forty eight hours now.”

“No I took a nap, and I’m being serious Sean,” Hank replied, “What happened?”

“He approached me to ask me out,” Sean said, “I turned him down like I said I would. Told him I didn’t swing that way.”

“You really told him that?” Hank asked.

Sean nodded, “It’s safer this way. He’s safer this way. I wouldn’t trust myself not to slip up, even if it wasn’t til years down the road, memories would blur and I’d forget which ones he would know and which one’s he wouldn’t.” They were all fears he’d expressed before, but that didn’t mean they weren’t any less relevant, “He’ll be happier with Darwin anyways.”

“You think so?”

“I hope so,” Sean replied, “Cause the only thing I can do to help Alex is to avoid him.”

“You realize that that isn’t a good solution, especially since you’re living under that same room as him.”

“Yeah, I’ve been, uh, thinking about that…”

“Thinking about leaving.” The way Hank said it made it feel like he already knew Sean was headed towards that decision.

Sean let out a soft breath, “Yeah.”

“It might be a good idea, at least for a little while,” Hank said, “I mean don’t you have family stuff to sort out anyways?”

“Yeah, I’ve been- putting that off,” Sean admitted, “It still doesn’t seem quite real. I’d intended to go back for my Uncle’s funeral but… well my cousin organized it behind everyone’s backs.”

“You’ll think he’ll make a fuss about not getting the inheritance?”

Sean shook his head, “I think he knew, even before my uncle died that he’d been written out and couldn’t do anything about it. I might be grasping at straws here, but it could be why he attacked me when- you know.”

Hank nodded, “Could well be. When were you planning on leaving?”

“I don’t know, probably soon,” Sean said, “If I wait until the school starts up in the fall I’ll feel obligated to stay.”

“Do what feels right,” Hank told him, “Just don’t leave without telling anyone.”

Sean nodded, “I won’t.”

He was going to leave without telling anyone. Well okay, not everyone, he’d written out notes to Hank and Charles, that he intended to slip under their doors, and he wanted to talk to Warren before he left, but that was it. Yet for all he’d made preparations he was still putting off leaving. It wasn’t until Hank showed Sean the newest prototype of his wings a few weeks later that Sean decided he needed to leave. Sean started packing that evening, and he was fully packed by the time he went down for dinner.

All through dinner Sean did his best to keep thoughts of leaving out of his head, being in the same room as a telepath didn’t lend itself well to keeping a secret, especially when said telepath had a habit of invading his students heads.

After dinner Sean pulled Warren aside, if anyone deserved an in person explanation about why he was leaving, it was Warren. He didn’t want to leave the kids hanging without a teacher.

“You’re leaving?” Warren exclaimed, “Why?”

Sean winced, “Please keep your voice down.”

Warren crossed his arms over his chest, “I will if you tell me why you’re leaving.”

“I will, I will, I promise,” Sean said, “And then Charles will likely talk to everyone about it tomorrow as well, but I didn’t want to leave you hanging.”

Warren didn’t move, staring expectantly at Sean, waiting for him to explain.

“I’ve had a family emergency,” Sean said, “My uncle passed away recently and I’m needed to sort out some legal matters.”

“Can’t you do that from here?”

Sean shook his head, “Not if I want to keep my cousin from interfering.” Though Tom had already done a substantial amount of interfering, and Sean wasn’t entirely sure there was anything more he could do without running up against legal barriers.

Warren didn’t look impressed, “Why are you telling me this?”

“Because I don’t know when I’ll be back,” Sean said, “I’m my uncle’s heir, and I’ve inherited a rather large estate and I don’t know what duties come with that. It could be several months before everything’s sorted out.”

“Which means you won’t be here to teach.”

“Right,” Sean replied, “Which brings me to what I wanted to ask you. Would you feel comfortable teaching in my absence? You can say no.”

“Why me? Why not Ororo or Jean?” Warren asked.

“Because you’ve been here the longest after Alex, Hank, and I, you’ve also had the ability to fly the longest. That’s your entire mutation, flight.”

“And if I say no?”

“Then you say no,” Sean said, “And then someone else will pick up teaching.”

“But no one else here can fly.”

“That didn’t keep Charles from getting me flying,” Sean said, though really it had been Erik that had gotten him flying, but that was beside the point.

There were a few moments of silence before Warren responded, “So uh, can I think about it?”

Sean nodded, “Of course, just let Charles know you’re considering it.”

“Wait, hold on a minute. You’re not leaving now are you?”

“Not  _immediately_ ,” Sean said, “But later tonight, yes. And I would ask you not to mention this until tomorrow.”

Warren huffed, “Fine, but you’d better get back soon.”

“I’ll do my best,” Sean said, and god lying to Warren felt twice as bad as lying to Alex. He felt like he was letting Warren down, and if he was being honest with himself he really, really, was.

After that Sean headed back to his room to finish his preparations to leave. He took the letters he’d written early, reading them over one last time before folding them up and writing the recipients names on them. One to Hank, apologizing for leaving, and one to Charles explaining why along with instructions for what they should tell the others. A family emergency, just one he wouldn’t come back from. There was truth to it, he did have things to take care of regarding his uncle’s, now his, estate. So it wasn’t all making things up, it was more just twisting the truth.

It wasn’t until close to two in the morning that Sean felt confident enough that everyone was asleep and he could slip out unnoticed. He realized, as he crept down the hall, that there was every chance that Charles knew that he was leaving, but if he did know he hadn’t said anything. Sean’s first stop was Charles’ room, sliding the note under the door, before backtracking and heading downstairs to Hank’s lab to do the same.

With the two notes delivered, Sean made his way up to the front hall.

“Sean?” Darwin’s voice stopped Sean in his tracks, “You headed somewhere?”

Sean didn’t turn to look at Darwin until his footsteps paused next to him, “Yeah.”

“At two in the morning?”

“Yeah.”

“You know from where I stand, it looks like you’re trying to sneak out,” Darwin said, his arms folded across his chest.

“Something came up at home,” Sean lied easily, “Professor got a call for me. Family emergency.”

Darwin didn’t entirely believe it, but if Sean was being secretive he was likely being secretive for a reason,“I supposed over in Ireland it’s a more reasonable hour to be calling.”

Sean grinned, grateful that Darwin hadn’t questioned the lie, “Much more reasonable, but I figured that it would be a good idea to get going immediately.”

Darwin nodded, “I’ll see you when you get back then?”

“Yeah...” Sean replied, though it lacked any conviction whatsoever.

“You’re leaving for good aren’t you?”

Sean rubbed at the back of his neck, pointedly not looking at Darwin’s face.

“You are. Sean why? I just got back and now you’re leaving,” Darwin huffed, “Alex said something was up with you, what the hell is going on?”

“It’s a lot to explain,” Sean said, “Just trust me when I say this really does, in part, have to do with my family.”

Darwin sighed, “Fine, but I expect answers eventually.”

“You can get them from Charles.”

“Will you ever come back?” Darwin asked, as Sean started to walk away.

“I don’t know, maybe.” Sean paused when he reached the door, “Look after Alex.”

Darwin frowned, “Yeah, ‘course.” He had so many questions, and right now it didn’t look like he was going to get an answer to any of them.

Sean didn’t say anything else, he just gave a small nod and slipped out the door.

Darwin stood staring at the door for several more moments before turning to head back to his room. He would definitely be talking to Charles tomorrow.

Ireland Fall 1968

Sean had forgotten how lonely living at Cassidy Keep could be. He was no longer a child easily entranced by the Leprechauns who guarded and maintained the Keep, and the few friends he’d had in the surrounding towns had, for the most part, left. Gone off to college, gotten jobs, done normal things. The ones that were left were married and most of them didn’t really remember Sean anyways.

His mother came to visit not long after Sean arrived, with a plea to come live with her instead of at the Keep, but Sean had declined. Their relationship had been left strained after the events that had led her to ship him off to boarding school in the States, namely her catching him kissing another boy behind a shed. While they were on good terms now, their relationship had never gone back to what it had been before.

Eventually, getting sick of being alone in the Keep, he decided to go somewhere, do something. Maybe get drunk, yeah, getting drunk sounded good. This time however, Sean decided, he was going to get drunk properly, at a bar, not curled up on his bed sobbing. That was how he found himself hitchhiking up to Belfast at nine o’clock at night.

All in all it was not his brightest decision, and a combination of never having been to Belfast before, and being drunk lead him to getting lost almost as soon as he left the bar he’d been at since he arrived in Belfast several hours earlier.

He noticed a woman getting on a motorbike about a block away and he made his way towards her hoping to ask for directions.

“So do you make a habit of getting yourself lost in the sketchy part of town?” the woman asked, as Sean approached.

“How do you know I’m lost?” Sean asked.

“I’ve been watching you walk in circles for the past five minutes.”

Sean grinned, leaning up against the wall of a building, “Well, I’ve never been to Belfast before, and it’s dark and I’m only a few beers away from forgettin’ my name.”

“You think you could hold on to me on my bike? I could take you to wherever you’re staying,” the woman offered.

“I don’t have anywhere I’m staying, I didn’t really think this trip through,” Sean said, “Just wanted to get drunk somewhere that wasn’t home.”

“And where is home?”

“County Mayo.”

“That’s the Republic of Ireland then,” the woman nodded, “Bit of a drive. How’d you get up here?”

“Hitchhiked.”

The woman raised an eyebrow, “And I assumed you planned on getting back the same way?”

“Hadn’t thought that far ahead” Sean said, grinning, “Does your offer of a ride still stand?”

“Provided you can hold on to me,” the woman replied, “I don’t need you falling off and getting killed.”

“Won’t fall off, promise,” Sean said, pushing himself off the wall, “I’m Sean, by the way.”

“Maeve, now get on the bike you drunk bastard.”

Sean grinned, climbing on the bike behind Maeve and wrapping his arms around her waist.

“You smell like a fucking distillery,” Maeve said, wrinkling her nose as she started up the bike.

“Told you I’d been drinking,” Sean mumbled.

“Well don’t let your drunk ass pass out. I’m not gonna be held responsible if you fall off and crack your head open.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll be fine.”

“You better be because you’re gonna have to give me directions after we cross the border.”

“Can I sleep til you need directions?”

“No.”

Mini Epilogue

For about six months after Sean left he stayed in regular contact with the school, but as Sean started a life for himself in Ireland he began calling back less and less, and when he started dating Maeve he stopped calling altogether. Hank would still call him every once and while with updates, to let him know how things were running, but Sean never went out of his way to call the school himself. Sean enrolled at Dublin University and got a degree in Forensic Science, he and Maeve were married a few months after he graduated. He still missed Alex, part of him always would, but he was happy with his life now and he sincerely hoped that Alex was happy with his too.

Alex did get over Sean, though he never really forgave Sean to leaving the way he did or for ceasing contact. Though he supposed it had been easier to get over Sean when he wasn’t calling every few weeks. About half a year after Sean had dropped all contact Alex and Darwin started dating. It was nice, it was easy, it was honestly the happiest Alex had ever been and he relished in it. They both taught at the school, Darwin taught Spanish and Alex helped students with control issues and organized sports and other physical activities, though he was also working on getting a degree in geophysics. Sometimes Alex would find himself wondering about how Sean was doing and what his life was like now, but he never let himself dwell on it.

Ten years had passed since Sean had left, ten years of the both of them building new lives for themselves, and all it took was one single night to turn all of it upside down. For Alex anyways.

The dreams had an odd sort of chronology that dreams didn’t normally have. They were fluid and in order and they matched almost exactly to Alex’s memories with a few fundamentally different details. The memories of Sean and himself as friends slowly faded to the back of his mind as these ‘dreams’ took their places, ‘dreams’ where he and Sean were together. And that was the only difference. The dreams made Alex’s sleep fitful and when they finally ended and Alex jolted awake, there was a voice in the back of his head calling them memories not dreams.

 

 


End file.
